older and newer

11.
this here tonight
within these four walls
is a fire burning sleepless for our entire lives
running marathons over land mines
chasing dreams our parents once had
but we sometimes soon forget
in the absence of family portraits
that the things we need to say
are the things we need to hear most
to be able to say
to each one of you
how much it means
to know that you don't have to carry the weight of the world
as long as we're together

12.
because somewhere
out there
tonight
sits a hungry child
draped in yesterday's news
of has beens
and what nots
of forgotten headlines
and tear drops

13.
for dorothy

how do we look back down the corridors of our paths
and know that we did everything right
that we stole our own hearts
and traveled around the world
leaving tattered ribbons
so we may know how we got here
how do we know that when the last grains of sand fall
we have nothing to regret
that regret is only a figment of our imagination
that could never possibly exist
because we know that we're full
off the friends we drank
and we could never finish half empty
how do we stare fear in the eyes
and make it taste its own medicine
to never realizing its full potential
to cower at the foot of possibilities

dorothy, you held the world in your hands
a raven perched on your shoulder
you carried her

14.
surrendering to constellations / the sun crashes into the waves / tides washing up warm footprints that fade too fast to save / i bang my head to the cadence of this exhausted march / cause its got the best of me this time beaten from the start / maybe questions are better left unanswered for a while / an elected excuse to play the fool / good enough for another mile / i've wrecked myself in this nervous habit and its not helping much / a case grass-stained and starving for just an honest touch / letters paint forgotten scenes and photographs read like a diary / hits too close to home and breaks the bones that cage memories / and i am choking on the dust that kicks up when nostalgia sets in / a broken heart with bandaid fixes that bleeds for just a friend / the black labrador's coat coloring the endless stellar sky / lacquered and polished interrupted only by planes passing by / gracious bodies speechless / pressing hands an innocent crime / victim to becoming another thread woven through the fabric of time / the felicity of that one night fuels the burning adoration / as skies the stale shade of gray dishearten summer expectations / packed up but far from giving up / no resignation at versailles / i'll swallow this package whole and harbor it in my stomach that's leather lined

bhurin

playlist:
the get up kids - the ep's: red letter day and woodson

thepenismightier part deuce

these are older, found them on my computer. and poetry is meant to be heard, so read them out loud.

6.
somewhere in all of us is a note
that our heart holds ransom
destined for vocal realization
trapped behind macho sighs

7.
only if we could crawl beneath haunted beds
lined with old chewing gum
paper stars
and jump rope dances
shake hands with velvet monsters
who are just as afraid as we are
of algebraic unknown uncertainties
we would see as lucid
as a dreamer's dream realized

8.
close your eyes
and listen
can you hear it
if you listen closely
you might hear it
there
the old playground
gravel rocks, giant swings, and metal slides
gravel rocks, giant swings, and metal slides
and there
between your toe and shoe
gravel rocks wait for your attention
to draw it away from war games you and your friends played
portraits of next generation politicians and complacent voters

9.
so let's greet death
with smiles and open arms
knowing that when the time comes
we did everything we could
to fill our lungs
under beautiful texas horizons
paint buckets of mixed emotions
swirled
picking out each line of poetry
with drum fills and steel strings to match
we'll hop on our bikes
and ride grass stained jeans
down half pipes
into bullet holes
of those who died to let us live
so we can finally feel comfortable in our own skin
then stack popsicle sticks
collect wasted time
and put them in mason jars
with leaves and broken twigs
so we'll never get homesick or hungry

10.
there was a time
where we spoke in the language of dreams
where our imagination screamed down barrels of shooting stars
and where we didn't know what the word fear meant
there was a time
where we slid off of turtle shells
launching ourselves onto canvases
exploding watercolors detailing vibrant worlds
unknown to bank accounts and war
and we would run down dark and mysterious pathways
faster with each footstep
towards the pulse of the unknown
and we were never afraid of what we might discover
because we knew
it was only ourselves
we would find

bhurin

playlist:
eva cassidy - time after time
the dillinger escape place - miss machine

thepenismightier

as requested by chang, here is the beginning of poetry/writing/stuff i've been sketching out and working on in my notebooks at home. pretty much all of it are excerpts from free-writes and notes. they are works in progress.

1.
enjoy the decadence
of exploding eardrums
and fattening wallets
bound tightly by copper wire
and shrink wrapped for last year's store shelf
of musical suicide
and enjoy the sensation while you still can
before your mind blankets by numbness
from sonic deliverance
of plastic mouthpieces
firing off rounds that would make a GI jealous
and enjoy the lyrical lexicon
founded by third grade spelling books
rhyming itself to itself
for a call and response
to questions better left unasked
that provides clues
to how our generation of music
has become
a decadence of exploding eardrums.

2.
sometimes i wish
that i could wrap my fingers around
the very breath that escapes me
and squeeze tears out of it
like rain clouds pouring
i'd fill a glass
and let you drink it
until it fills your chest
until you could understand

3.
created out of ashy remains
of what we once were
reminders of rice grain footprints
carbon dated bookmarks
for interment journals
etched on weeping walls
hatched under full moons of
pax americana
applie pies
and baseball railroad tracks
crossing over the wrong side of the tracks
kissing bullets whizzing by
faster than childhood memories
while riding cotton dolphins
across cellophane oceans
a mix of your favorite colors
sitting at the foot of destiny
ready to shower ourselves in oceans of
knives
and pitchforks
to save burning witches
from unholy crosses
chanting our name
we're a miracle born disaster
drinking from the lips of the pacific
careful not to get swallowed whole
immigrated suitcases
unpacked
and left floating

4.
at the brink of the horizon
we each stare ourselves into disillusionment
our insecurities magnificent
until we only see shadows
blanketing our entire world
but to take that leap
a chance on chance
and to throw everything we know about fate
into a barrel of fresh gasoline burning
we'll finally be able to sleep soundly
knowing
we scraped by on hopes and dreams
and that it was really enough


5.
may 11 is independence day
from chemical wastelands
wading chest high through forty hour work weeks
desperately trying
to keep my sanity from drowning
and asphyxiating on exploding dreams
each day since then
has delivered new meaning to it all
bank accounts and frozen lunches
have never been this important to me
may 11 is the beginning of a new life
away from texas heat
and enormous trucks
it marks the day of
blue vaseline makeup
and eight bar patterns
you see
the last three years at a place
you never wanted to be
became a cornerstone
the starting line
the wire to ignite the dynamite
that will send me sending love letters
to myself
so that i can enjoy each day
without witnessing
creative paralysis that is a job
routine is crucial in a job
but spontaneity is vital to life
medical science and mathematical calculations
love the definite
the for sure
the one answer
but life
art
and music
breathe and feed on our ability
to be anything but that


that is all for now. word.

bhurin

playlist:
eva cassidy - time and time
from monument to masses - the impossible leap in one hundred simple steps